Ahhh... Teenage boys

How do I put this... Teenage boys have stinky feet. Like really stinky feet. As in nothing smells worse stinky feet. Lovely. 

The elder boy decided to go to the local park and have a nerf gun war with his friends. Evidently, they are all self-described geeks, but actually active--all but my son, who would rather get lost in mind craft. 

They ran around and shot nerf pellets at each other for over an hour. No complaints there. Then, he got in the car and took off his shoes. Wow!  Windows down!  

But wait, there's more. We were having the last of the shrimp for supper--the teenage boy's favorite. The shrimp were, um, not good. Mushy, actually. He had put some in a bowl and asked if he should cook them or throw them at his brother. 

Always listen to the question...

I told him not to cook them. Always consider how you answer...

The good news is the couch got wiped down!  

Ahhhh... Car drama

So, the sappy boyfriend has been out if the picture long enough that he no longer is asking to come visit so he can "see her one more time".   I think that is over for good now. So much for "we're getting married."  We'll see if he ends up back in the picture. 

Now that the teen is 16 and ready to work, I thought it may be a good time to buy her a car. After all, I need someone to take everyone to school in the mornings, and I might as well pay her instead of someone else. However, we chose to get a car that was jinxed...

July 9:  We finally settled on a 2001 Passat. The seats were torn up, but it ran nicely. The tires were good and the carfax report was clean. We talked the dealer down to a price I was willing to pay and off she went. 

July 11:  The car fails emissions and the check engine light comes on. I call the dealer and bring it back for an assessment. They change a filter and send us on our way. 

July 17:  The check engine light is on again. We take it to the VW dealer to run a thorough diagnostic. They come back with $4900 worth of work. Whoa!  I call the dealer and pitch a fit. He invites me to come talk to him and show him the diagnosis. 

July 18:  The dealer and I have a conversation about implied warranties, etc. I then explain the power of a teenager's social media. He agrees to do all the work for his cost for the parts--$900. Ok. 

July 25:  Carly is reborn and passes all inspections with flying colors!  The teen is ecstatic and starts driving everywhere--including work. A mother's dream come true!

Aug:  Nothing exciting happens. Nice. 

Sept 9:  Mysterious scrapes have appeared on the teens car. She has no idea how they got there. Mom is not buying it.  Mom decides to sign up teen for Survival Driving School. The boys are jealous that she will get to do donuts in her car on a race track. Mom scores huge cool points. 

Sept 30:  A teacher at the teen's high school backs into the teen's car. We have an appointment on Oct 19 to have damages appraised. 

Oct 4:  Teen loses the ONLY set of keys to the car. Evidently, car keys must be special ordered from the manufacturer and then programmed to the car. After searching the fields of Oktoberfest for 6 hours, Mom e-mails the school and let's them know she will not be coming. 

Oct 15:  Teen has a total lapse in judgement and lets a boy drive her car while she is in class. The boy and a friend proceed to go on a high-speed joyride through the local neighborhood and run over a curb. They then proceed to get chased by the police. One is arrested. The other hides out on the Army base. 

Oct 16:  Mom calls the police and is told they cannot take a report until she can state who was driving and what they hit. 

Oct 18:  The insurance company declares the car a total loss. Neither boy is talking.  Mom now has more information on what happened and goes to the police station. Mom is told she still cannot file a report until the boys talk. One is still in jail and the other won't leave base. The base's CO is aware of the situation. 

Oct 20:  Bailsman calls. The boy in jail would like this mom to bail him out. Um. No. Where is his mom?!

So, Carly is gone. The teen is not getting a new car until the boys pay the $3000 difference from the insurance payout to purchase a new car. Considering neither boy has made a statement on the accident, this mom does not see the teen getting a car anytime soon. 

Time for a bottle, I mean glass, of wine...

Ahhh...Young Love...Barf!

I have to say, my parents were very lucky.  I was not really interested in boys or dating or fashion or anything that did not involve swimming, climbing trees, or science fiction fantasy.  Where did I go wrong that I would be, um, blessed with a social butterfly of a teenager who became boy crazy in 8th-grade?  Or, should I say, totally infatuated with one particular boy in 8th-grade.

The two years they dated was probably my missed opportunity for an Emmy-winning drama.  My life was filled with "I love him", "We are just friends", "He screwed up", "She screwed up"; it varied almost daily.  The boy moved over the summer, which only intensified the drama.  We live in a small place, and her younger siblings did not find their nightly arguments via facetime as amusing as I did.  Pity.

He spent most of July with us.  "We are going to get married" became the daily pronouncement.  That's nice.  She is very expensive.  I am happy for you to take her off my hands and start paying the bills.  Oh, right.  He is only 15; she is only 16.  Darn.  The boy goes home August 4; they break up August 8.  So much for marriage.  I guess they think this is Hollywood?

If I hear one more, "If only I could speak with her one more time"... Time to move on and be glad you didn't really get married.